Tanhayee

The meaning of 'Tanhayee' is no longer loneliness, since I am giving it company. For quite sometime now.

Well?

Long life?

Back to school... not quite!

It's been a couple of years since I passed out of TAMU. And a recruiting trip was what I was waiting for to rekindle all the memories! I was all excited (Ok, not tooooo excited! :-P) and after a 6 hr flight, I finally arrived at CLL: you could tell that even by the heaviness in the air! So I was driving down from the airport: I was all along wondering what reaction I would have soon after I reached CLL. But what I actually felt was something I hadn't expected at all: I felt sad! Why should I feel sad, of all things?? It bothered me so much I kept thinking and tried to get my thoughts straight. Well, it boiled down to these questions:

• How come the standard of living (a.k.a housing, food, fun) wasn't as good as the present?
• Was it all worth it?

For the first one, the answer's probably money. I don't know about the rich kids, but there was a time intially when I came to the US, I used to choose "Great Value" from Walmart (trips to Walmart was a pain too!) just to save a few cents! I think about it now and I feel so pathetic! And most of all, no car! Public transport sucked (and it still does) in CLL, so without car, it was pretty much {home-school-walmart-rent car during only holidays} routine! I can say confidently that I could have been classified as handicapped without the car! Many many more things that were missing then compared to now that can't be enlisted. Would the living be better off if I had stayed back home? Heck, ya!! But then, no pain, no gain. Which gets us to the next question.

Was it all worth it? Wow. That's difficult. After every major task, don't you ask the same question? For some, its obvious. For many, it isn't. We can never answer the whole lot of 'what if' questions! What if I had stayed back home? This single question forks off a number of other What if's. I know few people who are back home and are currently my age when I was in TAMU: and they "seem" to be having more "fun". So does that mean I would also have been better off? No one knows. Or ever will. So, answer to this: Maybe. At least, am on the positive side of "Maybe"! :) I guess that's what made me go to TAMU in the first place! :)

Analysis is not yet complete though. Gaaa, mid life crisis! No maybe, quarter life... No no, its not quarter life... and neither mid life... now that's a crisis!! hehe! ;-)

Current mood: Content

Yep, that's the stuff.

No blog updates for quite sometime now. But what a couple of weeks of revelation! A number of things in life retrospected upon: truly, its been a great experience. What was once important, it isn't now and what hadn't crossed my mind before, I am now constantly preoccupied with. Why is it so? It is strange indeed that time plays such an important role in life. It seems like it is the single most important thing *ever*, since it can strongly alter the way you perceive things - and these could be anything!

What is truly important? Does being nice pay off? Are your sacrifices truly worth it? Were there things which you wished you had done before it was too late?

Hadn't really thought of getting philosophical, but, mind is a strange entity.

I could have been rich!

Aimlessly wandering around in a mall, I came across an ATM that said "Do you want to continue with another transaction?". And there was a receipt that was taken out previously, with a balance sufficient to buy you a 2006 Mustang GT. I thought "Hmm... ok, should I withdraw some money? m o n e y ... at no extra effort... and how often such good things happen?". But in the next few seconds, the ATM card belonging to someone else was out, and there was no green in my hand or wallet. I promptly called BOA customer service to report a lost card. "Thanks for being a good citizen". "Umm... ok, whatever... I could have had a couple of thousand or more, you know!"

Was it fear of being caught? No, it was all about being a good citizen. What a hippie!

Current mood dump

Sometimes, it just creeps in from nowhere and takes you over! Watch this.

Argh!

Long hiatus but...

am back, like it or not! It's worth emphasizing this and this from my recent experiences.

Strangely, the traffic on my blog has increased... goes to show that I am not the only one jobless! :) Atleast click on the Google Ads! :P

Meanwhile, have you played "Porok" (thanks to one of my friends for pointing this out)?